How to approach dating when you’re shy

approach dating when shy

Being shy doesn’t mean you aren’t looking for some romance in your life, it just means you aren’t as confident as everyone else you see on Instagram or Facebook. To help you fight through the shy feelings and to ease you into the dating realm we have accumulated some tips on how to get started.  If after them you are still a little concerned about getting into the dating world, then follow this link for some more information and tips on dating when you’re shy.

Consider Online Dating first

Online dating is a great way of easing yourself into (or back into) the dating world. It is all done from the comfort of your own home, so there is no need to worry about doing it face to face right away. With hundreds of dating services out there you really are spoilt for choice on which one to pick but it is definitely worth going through them to see which is best for you. You are free to find a woman online or a man and decide which singles are for you. And let’s be honest and online dating service means that you can reject people without having to do it to their face, so what’s not to love? Once you are on there be sure to put in your biographical statement that you are a shy person as this will let people know to be a little more chilled with you. Being shy doesn’t have to affect your dating skills online and by the time you are meeting up for dates with your match then you should be feeling pretty confident about the sort of person they are.

Keep the dates chilled (to begin with)

You don’t have to go in big on the first dates as this adds a lot of pressure to the whole thing. Try keeping the dates to chilled ideas such as a picnic or brunch. This way you still get to enjoy the perks of date but without the unnecessary pressure to get all dressed up and be on your best behavior. Try to see it more like a hangout session than a date as this also might soften the situation. I’m sure your date will also appreciate a more relaxed approach as there’s no denying that why will be nervous too.

Other examples of chilled out dates can also include:

  • Going to the cinema
  • Going for coffee
  • Go bowling
  • Making homemade pizzas
  • Go for a hike
  • Go to the beach (and maybe have a BBQ whilst you are there?)

There are so many options, it is just a matter of seeing what suits your sort of dating style and what situations make you feel the most confident. But try not to overthink it as well!

Practice being confident outside of dating as well

Chances are the reason you are shy in dating is that you are pretty shy everywhere else as well. Even if that isn’t the case, practicing your confidence and attitude to life can help in so many ways. To do this just put yourself in more social situations then you are used to. This can be anything from going out with your friends more or even speaking up more at work or class. These little acts of confidence will make other people assume you’re more confident than you are and want to engage with you more. I find that the term “fake it ‘till you make it” really works when trying to be more confident than you are, so next time you are in an awkward situation try saying that to yourself to help urge you on.




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